plan b

okay, so i had this long blog half written and i pressed one button and it all disappeared. i guess that was a hint that i was rambling.

anyhoo, i'm in a reflective mood. have u ever felt like plan b? the next best option? the leftovers?

i went out on a "date" or "friendly outing" or whateva it was. i had written a long paragraph about how i met him, but i'm not rewriting that so i'll just say i met him at the marta train station walking to my car. he seems like a nice, smart guy so far.

we met up at the movie theater yesterday for a 4pm movie. it was okay i guess. he walked me to my car afterwards, gave me a hug, and that was that.

now as a woman, we tend to overanalyze everything. and i get to thinking, was i plan b? i mean it was his idea that we meet up at 3pm because he had something else to do later on that day. now i'm thinking i was probably the first date of the night. i get a matinee movie and his second date gets an actual dinner date. now i feel like an idiot.

after worked today, i get a phone guy from this guy who's kinda interested in me. he asks me if i wanted to go out with him to atlantic station. now i got off work at 9pm. the last thing i feel like doing is going out. once again i'm thinkin i must be plan b. i ask him what happend to the other girl he usually goes out with. he tells me she's outta town. dammit i am plan b.

so i get to thinkin while i'm driving home from work, why the hell am i "the next best option"? i have got to do better than this.

i mean i would never settle for less than i deserve, but my so called dates recently definitely got me thinking about some things.

am i over analyzing things (like most of us woman do)? i don't know.

*sigh* oh well, at least i got an "A" out of my accounting II class this semester.

be blessed. :-)