testify

man...i have not felt like writing and i still don't...but i might as well give some kind of update so here goes nothing.

lets see.... i joined the army, went through basic training, and now i am in TRADEDOC (job training) in fort gordon, ga. if basic training was suppose to represent 'hell', job training school represents 'purgatory'. this place SUCKS. alot of people go AWOL here and i can't blame them. luckily, i graduate in one week and then i get my orders for my active duty station.

one reason i joined the army was to travel and visit new places. however, my temporary orders have my active duty station as being fort gordon, ga (this hellhole where i am at now). out of all the places in the world to go...i'm staying here . there is this one dude in my class who is a total shytbag and is trying to get kicked out the army and his active duty station is ....hawaii (the irony).

since i started my army career, i have never been around so much suicide or suicidal people in all my life! i'm guessing that the military is a last resort for alot of these kids. last week a dude tried to jump off the 3rd floor and a lady soldier at another company killed herself. even during basic training we had a guy try to hang himself in the shower in the middle of the night. luckily, the fire guards (which is really suicide watch) saved his life. after that incident, whenever i had fireguard and someone went to the bathroom, i would follow to make sure noone was hanging themselves in the showers (yeah i became a little paranoid). i know of more stories, but i think i'll stop now. the shyt gets depressing.

fyi: the army has the highest suicide rate out of all militarys. my basic training pastor even had the church fasting because last year, more soliders died of suicide than died in war.

lets see..what else. the army is full of skanks. yeah i said it! both male and females skanks. everyone is sleeping with each other. it don't matter if they are married or in relationships or have kids. i would say about 10% are actually faithful to their significant others. and dare i say that the women are worse! its way more males than females here so alot of these low self-esteem girls are getting attention that they otherwise probably wouldn't get. they are buckwild! i just wanna grab them and scream "have some respect for yourself... you are just convenient booty!" maybe its because i'm old...but i see right through these dudes. i'll stay single, thanks!

fyi: fort gordon has a high STD rate (surprise, surprise).

anyhoo, thats all i gotta say. i haven't taken any photos in a while since i left my digital at home. i got some on a cheap camera i bought that i need to develop as soon as i remember where i put it.

be blessed! :-)

Suicide (she seemed so alive)

I dedicate this to every breathing thing in despair. May you ascend to the place where you truly belong, and once there, may you connect to your true peace and reunite with the authenticity that is you.

There is nothing on Earth more beautiful and more profound than you.

You are light.

Love.

Passion.

And divinity.

Keep breathing.

Keep breathing.

Keep breathing.

Every single word I wrote for you.

~Darnella Ford

Runaway Train

okay...after graduating from college i told myself i would start blogging again...mission failed. lol. i have literally been sitting on my butt waiting until i leave for boot camp. well, i am happy to say i will be leaving for boot camp on monday jan 26th for 9 weeks and 4 days. i'm excited and petrified. i will be at fort jackson in columbia, sc. then, i will goto job training at fort gordon for 18 weeks. i chose "mulitchannel transmission systems operator maintainer" (thats a mouthfull) in the communications field mainly because they offered a $20,000 bonus and financial technician wasn't available. so there you have it. one day i hope to blog about my hatred of public transportation and the bums & psychos that come along with it.

anyhoo, blog ya later.

be blessed! :-)

Many Moons

so i'm on a certain message board and came across what a girl named tati wrote below.....

On my commute to work..I had a thought. I dont think men these days like women. I dont mean that are batting for the other team or something...I just dont think they care for women too much. Just this generation of men....

They would rather play video games..then go on a date. They don't really call like they should. They dont wanna spend no money..not because they are broke..just because they don't want to. LMAO! They think chivalry is ancient.....and they are all into self. Romance has long been dead....and they are just self-serving. self-righteous, bastards. They aren't worried about building with a woman. They don't care about love or companionship until they are old and gray and realized they wasted the vast majority of their 20's and 30's being "carefree" when that coulda been the time to cultivate a few good relationships. They are either so career driven they feel like women are a "distraction" or "not needed"...or they are so lazy they feel women are a "a way to come up". Sex is just an activity to fill a void.....making love isn't really there anymore. They are more picky about the kind of woman they want...and won't "settle". Not that settling is a good thing...but it's like they are trying to attain something totally impossible.....They would rather engage in self-destructive behaviour (cheating, one night stands, long standing affairs that dont materialize into commitment, just shaking up....)... rather than forging a healthy relationship. They say stupid sh*t like "Marriage aint for me" or "I cant be faithful to one chick". How do you know if you never really TRY and put forth any effort?

Finally someone put into words what i've been trying to express for a while now! i think thats probably why there is not one dude i'm remotely interested in. i would think i was a lesbian, except i'm not interested in women either. maybe i'm an asexual?

anyhoo, i think i graduated! yes, i said that right... THINK! lol. graduation was monday, but our teachers have until wednesday to post our grades. ga state univ will mail us our diplomas ..so here is hoping for a nicely wrapped diploma for christmas. :-)

so basically i'm chillin for the moment until i figure out whats next for me. i'm still thinking about joining the military. the fact that they'll pay off my student loan is a HUGE incentive for me. i took the asvab today and got a 90 out of a possible 99. i wondered why ol' dude looked at me funny when he gave me my test results in the envelope. i figured either i did really good or really bad. lol. tuesday i'm suppose to do my physical at meps and leave for bct in february tentatively. i'll keep yall posted.

lets see what else is up with me....oh yeah, i was going to go to the eric roberson concert tonight at sugar hill, but i gotta be at work at 9am tomorrow so i said "funk it". i finished all my christmas shopping this year and even bought me a few items. i can't believe i bought 2 pair of jeans, and 4 shirts for $85 at the mall. i guess thats the only good thing about the recession...you get clothes for the low low. i took the bus to the mall (my car is still sittin on bricks) and 2 black dudes walked up. one of them asked me "excuse me, whats your nationality"? i looked at him like he was crazy and he proceed to ask me if i was african- american. i said, "yeah, do i look puerto rican or something"? lol. apparently, he thought i was somalian. i guess the afro puff made me look very "ethnic"...thats kinda cool. :-)

thats my update for now. stay tuned for my "i hate MARTA chronicles: the evils of public transportation" coming to a blog near you.

be blessed! :-)

They Say Vision

hey yall. long time no see. i have been so busy with trying to graduate this semester that i don't have time to blog as much as i'd like to. anyhoo, here's a quick update.

school: i am so stressed out!! i have group projects thats worth 50% of my grade (of course i seem to be the only group member that gives a flying funk)! strangely, this semester all my teachers give tests on the same days! i can't BS and wait until the day before the test to study anymore. school is kickin my yellow butt!

work: nothing much to report here. the dude i almost got into a fight with is giving me the silent treatment. whateva gets you through the day bruh. i only work weekends now because i got too much school crap to do. every weekend i comeback, another brotha gets fired. those are the breaks i guess.

personal: i went to see Res in concert at sugarhill this pass weds. my homeboy invited me and we had a great time. its weird because he's a brotha who LOVES rock n roll music. i mean the entire time we were in the car, we listened to queen, soundgarden, and other rock music i'm not familar with. it was cool. i can rock out too! lol. the Res concert was great! i knew her name but never heard her music. she's like a hiphop rocker. no wonder my homey loved it so much.

me & my other homeboy plan on doing 'dialog in the dark'. no...thats not some freaky play on words. lol. its this cool exhibit where you are taken in complete darkness to walk a path while being led by a blindperson. its sounds so interesting! i heard it was life-changing on the radio so i'll report back how it is.

anyhoo..thats my update for now.

be blessed :-)

Never Scared

i was going to blog about how me & this dude at work almost got into a fight and how i ain't no punk(even though i'm 5'2 and he's 6'0) and how we throw them bows in the dec (decatur), and i ain't a killer,but don't push me (thank 2pac for that one), but i'm so over that situation. the moral of the story is that i'm nice, but don't try me, and i don't play that disrespect and if you even think about hitting me i'll go ape shyt on you.

anyhoo, moving on. school started back last week. as you may or may not know...i graduate this semester *pause to do the cabbage patch*! i have 4 classes and they are the hardest i have taken so far at ga state. i don't know why i didn't save my elective classes for the last semster of school. i could be taking wine tasting 101, swimming 101, etc. instead, i am taking audit, tax, business stragety, and financial assurance. i have a few group project which suck, but whatcha gonna do.

yall, i'm so confused about what i wanna do with my pathetic life. here are a few options:

option 1: become an accountant, even though its boring and live a boring life in atlanta, and marry some boring guy and have boring children.

option 2: join the military and travel around the world, but be broke and risk going to Iraq and dying in a war thats not about freedom but about oil & greed.

option 3: join the peace corp, grow freeforming locs, and teach in africa and still be broke.

option 4: hmmm...can't think of one at the moment.

whats a girl to do? lets hope i figure it out by december.
anyhoo, thats all for now. 'til next time..

be blessed. :-)

Cruel Summer

just a quick update. me & my homey went to the fox theatre to see oprah presents 'the color purple'. we had a great time! of course we had a lil drama before actually going to the play. if you know me...you will know that all i have in my closet is tshirts and jeans and one little church dress. yeah i know i suck. lol. so an hour b4 the play me & my homey had to ride out to find a cute dress. of course he is like a typical guy and said "just pick whatever'. so i proceed to pick up a cute pink dress and he was like "i hate it"{insert my side eye} . so i said, "shawty... you pick out what you want me to wear". he picks out this dress (and the shoes) and i have to admit he did a pretty good job. i would have never picked out this dress but i like it.

anyhoo, we had a great time and i decided might as well post pics.

be blessed :-)