catch up...

wow! where has the time gone! well as you know, i suck at blogging. lol. right now i'm chillin in Iraq and will be home in about 3months. i'm so excited! i went home for R&R in March and had a great time. i decided to take a 5day trip to Hawaii at the spur of the moment. life is too short ya know? let me tell ya, it was absolute paradise!

i still plan on turning this blog into a search for love blog, but its kinda difficult to do that from here (especially since i don't date military men).

i did learn one lesson while i was home though. me & a guy friend of mine were kinda talking about dating each other when i got home. wedid end up going out, but we decided we were on 2 different paths and friends we will stay. the only thing i regret is that i figured we would hang out the whole time i was home for R&R. i didn't have a back up in place so when things didn't work out between us, i tried to set up last minute dates with other dudes. unfortunately, it was too last minute and i was due to fly back in a couple of days.

when i get back home for good, i'm going to do the multiple dating thing. i think sometimes we as women put all our eggs in one basket, and then end up disappointed in the end. multiple dating would allow us to not get too attached to a guy. the more i think about it, the more i like the idea! i remember a friend telling me that "a man don't want someone that noone else wants". They told me to think about that bugaboo that always calls you even when u never call them and ignore their phone calls. the more you ignore them...the more they call. i had to admit, she had a point there.

anyhoo, thats all i got right now. hopefully time flies and i'll be back in GA b4 ya know it. I'm going to leave off with a pic of me in Honolulu, HI. I hope to visit there again soon. ALOHA!

be blessed.

Back in the Day..

so since i will be turning this blog into "my journey to love" blog, i figured i might as well give some background info so you know how i got to this ->point<- (ha!). so lets take it back to high school...circa 1997..rockin my wrap, jeans, t-shirts, and k-swiss (yeah, i wasn't exactly a *fashionista* back then). i was an utter and complete nerd. i would call myself the 'wallflower'. i never talked in high school. i sat in the library during lunch period (when you're not part of any clique, where exactly are you gonna sit?). i never attended any sporting events or dances save for senior prom (which i went by myself). yeah...i was pretty unpopular and unnoticed. i actually kinda liked it that way because i hated attention. i had maybe a couple of acquaintances and that pretty much sums of my high school years.

now that you have a picture in your head of me in high school (pathetic) you can pretty much figure out my how my so-called 'love life' was (what love life?) lol. well then, enters college. i had decided to attend alabama a&m univ (HBCU) which is 4hrs away from home. here, noone knew me. here is when it finally happen...i actually decided to .....*wait for it*.... talk! i actually met real friends here (not just acquaintances) and dare i say it.....had fun. i came out of my shell.

i will never forget the first few day of freshmen week. i was walking down the 'block' learning where my classes would be when this dude starts "psssss" at me. now, nothing irks me more now than for a grown azz man to 'psss' at me instead of walking up to talk to me like a freakin human being, but i was just a mere 17yrs old then so i didn't find it insulting. lol. anyhoo, where was i.....ah yes...so i remember turning around and thinking "is he trying to get my attention?". why yes he was actually! he walks up to me and ask my name and could he call me sometime. now picture my face with a shocked expression. i could not believe a dude actually wanted to talk to me! now mind you...i don't think i actually had low self-esteem (at least not any lower than the avg teenage girl), but when you go through all of high school without so much as a hint of male interest, you pretty much don't even think about it happening. we talked for a few months and that was that. he wasn't the only dude i met so i got to date and meet new people. from that 1st semester, i actually figured out that 1)i was cute 2) my style game had to step up (no more jeans and big ol tshirts) and 3) there'ss alot i had to learn about men!

to be continued......

A Change is Gonna Come...

(blows dust off this sucker) ahh man! i haven't did any blogging in 4ever! i guess i should give an update. right now i am stationed somewhere in south Iraq for a year deployment. working 12hrs everyday sucks, but it is what it is. while i sit at my desk bored most of the day, i start thinking (what else are you gonna do for 12hours!) about changing this blog.

now that i am 30 (soon to be 31 this month) I think this would be a good time to chronicle my love life (or lack of one). unfortunately, this deployment has me putting it on hold for now until i return to the states in July 2011. (and no i don't date military men...because 1-they are too young, 2- most are married, and 3-most cheat on their spouses).

anyhoo, during my sabbatical from dating, i plan on doing some traveling. i'm going to hawaii alone in march for my R&R. the book 'eat, pray, love' really inspired me to do some solo traveling because if you sit around waiting for other people, you'll end up doing nothing. i'll probably post some pics here.

so thats all for now be blessed. :-)

Meet Me On The Equinox

hello everyone. haven't blogged in like forever. lol. i'm still in the army doing my thang. we are set to deploy to iraq in july 2010. so that will be interesting. anyhoo, thats all for now.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

be blessed! :-)

testify

man...i have not felt like writing and i still don't...but i might as well give some kind of update so here goes nothing.

lets see.... i joined the army, went through basic training, and now i am in TRADEDOC (job training) in fort gordon, ga. if basic training was suppose to represent 'hell', job training school represents 'purgatory'. this place SUCKS. alot of people go AWOL here and i can't blame them. luckily, i graduate in one week and then i get my orders for my active duty station.

one reason i joined the army was to travel and visit new places. however, my temporary orders have my active duty station as being fort gordon, ga (this hellhole where i am at now). out of all the places in the world to go...i'm staying here . there is this one dude in my class who is a total shytbag and is trying to get kicked out the army and his active duty station is ....hawaii (the irony).

since i started my army career, i have never been around so much suicide or suicidal people in all my life! i'm guessing that the military is a last resort for alot of these kids. last week a dude tried to jump off the 3rd floor and a lady soldier at another company killed herself. even during basic training we had a guy try to hang himself in the shower in the middle of the night. luckily, the fire guards (which is really suicide watch) saved his life. after that incident, whenever i had fireguard and someone went to the bathroom, i would follow to make sure noone was hanging themselves in the showers (yeah i became a little paranoid). i know of more stories, but i think i'll stop now. the shyt gets depressing.

fyi: the army has the highest suicide rate out of all militarys. my basic training pastor even had the church fasting because last year, more soliders died of suicide than died in war.

lets see..what else. the army is full of skanks. yeah i said it! both male and females skanks. everyone is sleeping with each other. it don't matter if they are married or in relationships or have kids. i would say about 10% are actually faithful to their significant others. and dare i say that the women are worse! its way more males than females here so alot of these low self-esteem girls are getting attention that they otherwise probably wouldn't get. they are buckwild! i just wanna grab them and scream "have some respect for yourself... you are just convenient booty!" maybe its because i'm old...but i see right through these dudes. i'll stay single, thanks!

fyi: fort gordon has a high STD rate (surprise, surprise).

anyhoo, thats all i gotta say. i haven't taken any photos in a while since i left my digital at home. i got some on a cheap camera i bought that i need to develop as soon as i remember where i put it.

be blessed! :-)

Suicide (she seemed so alive)

I dedicate this to every breathing thing in despair. May you ascend to the place where you truly belong, and once there, may you connect to your true peace and reunite with the authenticity that is you.

There is nothing on Earth more beautiful and more profound than you.

You are light.

Love.

Passion.

And divinity.

Keep breathing.

Keep breathing.

Keep breathing.

Every single word I wrote for you.

~Darnella Ford

Runaway Train

okay...after graduating from college i told myself i would start blogging again...mission failed. lol. i have literally been sitting on my butt waiting until i leave for boot camp. well, i am happy to say i will be leaving for boot camp on monday jan 26th for 9 weeks and 4 days. i'm excited and petrified. i will be at fort jackson in columbia, sc. then, i will goto job training at fort gordon for 18 weeks. i chose "mulitchannel transmission systems operator maintainer" (thats a mouthfull) in the communications field mainly because they offered a $20,000 bonus and financial technician wasn't available. so there you have it. one day i hope to blog about my hatred of public transportation and the bums & psychos that come along with it.

anyhoo, blog ya later.

be blessed! :-)